


Everyone but Peggy is a disaster, probably: A Hamilton Text Fic AU

by YourLocalTheaterKid



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, F/F, Gay John Laurens, I'll tag as I go, Lams - Freeform, Lesbian Margarita "Peggy" Schuyler, Lesbian Maria Reynolds, M/M, Nonbinary Marquis de Lafayette, Other, Pansexual Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Pansexual Hercules Mulligan, Peggy is the best friend ever, Texting, text fic, texting fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-16 06:03:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21031448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourLocalTheaterKid/pseuds/YourLocalTheaterKid
Summary: A modern Hamilton texting AU where Alex and John are so perfect for each other, and they flirt SO MUCH, but they SOMEHOW aren't together yet, and everyone else is so done with that.Peggy is the best friend ever, Eliza is probably a cinnamon roll, and Angelica is Angelica, because Angelica is the best.Laf is enby, Peggy is lesbian, Eliza is pan, so is Hercules, and everyone is a disaster.Also, I'm real bad at summaries and tagging, so many apologies. I promise it's interesting.Also! Peggy, John, and Alex are the only characters in chapter one, but the others'll be in the next chapters, I swear.T for swearing, etc.





	1. Chapter One: Frantic John

**Author's Note:**

> I OWN NOTHING BUT THE PLOT. Characters, etc, belong to Lin-Manuel Miranda? I mean, maybe? They were real people once?
> 
> And look, the tag suggestions may tell you it's "Margaret", but we ALL know that Peggy's name is M-a-r-g-a-r-i-t-a. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

John’s phone 

________

AND PEGGY 

7:42 a.m. AND PEGGY:

‘morning, John! 😁

7:43 a.m. AND PEGGY:

how r u this fine & lovely day?

7:47 a.m. AND PEGGY:

?

7:51 a.m. AND PEGGY:

helloooooooooooo?

8:09 a.m. AND PEGGY:

. . . r u still asleep?

cuz we have 🏫 2day. 

8:11 a.m. Johnny Boy:

Wait, what?

8:12 a.m. AND PEGGY:

*gasps joyfully* ur alive!!!

8:12 a.m. Johnny Boy:

I cannot _ believe _I overslept. 

Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaap.

8:13 a.m. AND PEGGY:

oh snap. welp u better

hurry, 🏫 starts in like 17 minutes

8:13 a.m. Johnny Boy:

Shit shit shit okay I’m gonna go

8:14 a.m. AND PEGGY:

yeah u should do that if u wanna

be picked up, A.H. is in charge of 🚙 2day.

8:14 a.m. Johnny Boy:

Crap ok bye

8:14 a.m. AND PEGGY:

byyyyyyyyeeeeee.

________

Lex

8:21 a.m. Lex:

J, you ready? We’re outside your

house, dude. 

8:23 a.m. John <3:

omw, srry, overslept

U have 2 stop txting me in the middle of the night

8:24 a.m. Lex:

Hahaha, sorry. But I think you

don’t mind as much as you might infer. . . 😏

8:24 a.m. John <3:

omg stop flirting w/ me

im franic john rn & frantic john cant flirt

8:24 a.m. Lex:

Heh. Sorry. Frantic John is cute, though. 

(I’ll stop, sorry, couldn’t resist.)

______

AND PEGGY

10:32 a.m. AND PEGGY:

sooooooo what caused u 2 sleep in?

10:33 a.m. Johnny Boy:

Peggy, don’t text in class. 

10:33 a.m. AND PEGGY:

but urrrrrrrr texting in class

10:34 a.m. Johnny Boy:

Only to tell _ you _not to text in class.

10:36 a.m. AND PEGGY:

k . . . 

10:41 a.m. AND PEGGY:

hey, u wanna knw a secret bout A.H?

10:44 a.m. Johnny Boy:

. . .Sure?

10:44 a.m. AND PEGGY:

of course u do. soooooo

10:45 a.m. AND PEGGY:

on his phone

10:46 a.m. AND PEGGY:

he has u saved

10:47 a.m. AND PEGGY:

as ‘John <3’

10:49 a.m. Johnny Boy:

I’m sorry, WHAT?

10:50 a.m. AND PEGGY:

it’s true. i looked over his shoulder @ his phone

when we were waiting for u in the car

this morning, & there it was

10:52 a.m. Johnny Boy:

jhdfjhdfsklkjdfskldshadfskadsjjhadfsjadfsjadfs

ajgfjfjhljkfaajfskjafskjafkjffjsksfsfjfklkjfljfjfsfskkjkf

hfdjfdskdfjdfadfhsjjsjfdskdfkldadfkkjdffsjlfjfjldljas

10:53 a.m. AND PEGGY:

lmao

10:54 a.m. AND PEGGY:

also, u 2 r rlly cute 2gether. 

(i saw the flirting 2.)

10:55 a.m. Johnny Boy:

STOP TEXTING IN CLASS.

10:55 a.m. AND PEGGY:

also u never answered my 1st question

10:57 a.m. Johnny Boy:

I’ll tell you later. 

10:57 a.m. AND PEGGY:

pfft nm ill ask lex 

  
  


______

Alex’s phone

_______

Margarita

11:02 a.m. Margarita:

soooooo 

11:03 a.m. Margarita:

do u know J’s rsn for oversleeping?

11:03 a.m. Lex:

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh

11:04 a.m. Lex:

We stayed up super-late texting. . .

11:05 a.m. Margarita:

oh-HO. is that SO?

how late r we tlking?

11:05 a.m. Lex:

Like, 9-4?

11:05 a.m. Margarita:

woooooooow. thats late, dude. 

11:06 a.m. Lex:

Yeaaaaah.

11:07 a.m. Margarita:

so how much flirting was there????????

11:07 a.m. Lex:

SO MUCH FLIRTING, PEGGY. 

I ALMOST _ DIED _ HE’S SO CUTE. 

11:08 a.m. Margarita:

omg WHY R U 2 _ NOT _2GETHER????????

11:09 a.m. Lex:

Because I’m a WIMP and I CAN’T ask him out. 

11:09 a.m. Margarita:

mayb i should shw him these txts. 

11:09 a.m. Lex:  
What? NO. I would have to kill you. 

11:10 a.m. Margarita:

hahaha if u say so. anyway its almost

time 4 lunch, ill c u in the caf?

11:10 a.m. Lex:

Yup. See ya. 

_______


	2. Chapter Two: Alex has a John Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The squad goes to Waffle House, but I don't actually write about them at Waffle House!
> 
> Alex and Peggy have a conversation in Spanish and Eliza, Angelica, and John get po'ed.
> 
> Later, Alex accidentally texts Maria instead of Peggy, and then Maria gets an Idea to Get Alex and John to Make Out™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaaaaaaaay second chapter!
> 
> I actually didn't proofread this so I'm very sorry if it's bad.

John’s phone

______

Labaguette

11:15 a.m. Labaguette: 

John? 

11:15 a.m. Tortue Garçon:

Yes?

11:16 a.m. Labaguette:

I was told to tell you that we are

going out to lunch, instead of eating at school.

11:16 a.m. Tortue Garçon:

Oh, okay. Where are you guys?

11:17 a.m. Labaguette:

We are meeting at Alexander’s car, 

I believe. Hercules and I just got out of

French. 

11:17 a.m. Tortue Garçcon: 

K, I’ll be there in a minute. 

11:17 a.m. Tortue Garçon: 

I still don’t understand why you take French. . .

11:18 a.m. Labaguette:

It is an easy A. There is no reason not 

to take it. 

11:18 a.m. Tortue Garçon:

Fair point. : )

_______

John

I put my phone away and head out to the parking lot, thinking about the conversations I had over text this morning. Peggy waking me up. . . Alex saying that Frantic John is cute. . . Peggy telling me that Alex has me saved on his phone as ‘John <3’. . . 

My heart started pounding when I read that. 

Alex and I flirt all the time, and Peggy, Eliza, Angelica, Lafayette, Hercules, and even Maria say he  _ obviously  _ has a GIANT crush on me, and vice versa. 

And I know that they’re probably right. . . 

And I know I should ask Alex out. . . 

But it’s really fucking terrifying, asking the person you really like out. 

We texted forever last night. . . I feel like 90% of our conversation was just flirting. 

Oh, god, there was so much flirting.

Everything from cheesy one-liners that made me laugh to innuendos that made me swallow hard and be glad Alex wasn’t actually there. 

So.

I mean. I just. God. He’s so. 

I am too far gone. 

When I get to Alex’s car, Peggy, ‘Gelica, and ‘Liza are already there. (So is Alex.) There’s the usual chorus of greetings. (“Hey, John,” “Hi, John!” “John, hi!” etc, etc.) I lean against the car and ask, “So where are we going?” Peggy shrugs. “No se, Angelica was the one who espontáneamente sugirió salir, right, Alex?”

Alex nods. “Sí, lo que debería significar que está pagando por todos, pero…” Peggy shrugs. “Eh, has roto esa regla un par de veces, Alexander.” Alex shrugs in return. (This is a lot of shrugging.) “Es verdad.” 

Angelica, Eliza and I all glance at each other, then sigh. See, Peggy is Latina, (she’s adopted) and she’s fluent in Spanish. Alex was born in West India, and he’s fluent in Spanish  _ and  _ French. And Laf is French-African, and they’re first language is French.

So, Peggy and Alex have conversations in Spanish that  _ no one else can understand.  _ And Alex and Laf also have conversations in French that, once again,  _ no one else can understand.  _

Well. Hercules is taking French this year, and I think Laf is helping him, and I’m taking Spanish, so I can understand a little bit of P and A.H’s conversations. 

Anyway, the point is,  _ it’s very annoying.  _ Like, they all  _ know  _ we can’t understand them. And they think it’s  _ funny.  _ Hence, the sighing.

P and A.H. look at us and grin. I glare at them, and Angelica sighs again. “Come  _ on,  _ guys, you know we can’t understand you,” she complains. Peggy just grins wider, and Alex smirks at me. (I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks.) 

Eliza clears her throat. “Soooooo. . . Where  _ are  _ we going, Angie?” She asks. Angelica turns to her, and thank God for Eliza Schuyler. 

Angelica tilts her head. “Ummmmm. . . Does Waffle House sound good?” Alex nods enthusiastically. “Um,  _ yes, _ ” Peggy says. Eliza smiles. “Yeah, that sounds good!” “Should we wait for Herc and Laf to agree?” I ask.

“Ah, no need, mon ami,” Lafayette says, walking up behind us. “Sorry we’re kind of late,” Hercules says. “It’s okay,” Alex says. “So, WaHo?” Everyone gives some sign of approval, and as Alex is digging out his keys, I remember something.    
“Hey, is Maria coming?” I ask Peggy. She nods. “Yeah, she is. She  _ should  _ be here soon. . .” Alex frowns. “Well, we have to leave soon if we actually want to go to WaHo. There’s, like, 45 minutes of lunch left.” 

“Wait, I’m here!” Maria shouts, waving her arms and running towards us. Peggy catches her around the waist and everyone looks away as they kiss. 

“Okay, let’s go, then,” Alex says. Everyone piles into the car, and we’re off.

________

Alex’s phone

_______

Maria

3:57 p.m Al:

Peeeeeeeeeeegggggggggyyyyyy,

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp.

4:01 p.m. Maria:

Wrong number, Al. 

4:02 p.m. Al:

Crap, sorry. My contact name for

Peggy is Margarita, and in my haze of 

helplessness I couldn’t tell who was who.

4:03 p.m. Maria:

Ohhhh, is it a John Problem?

4:03 p.m Al:

I have such a huge crush on him I think 

it’s bad for my health, Maria. :(

4:04 p.m. Maria:

Awwww. That’s so cute.

What are the symptoms?

4:05 p.m. Al:

I get butterflies in my stomach every time I see him,

every time we touch, every time I hear his voice. . . 

4:06 p.m. Maria:

Yup, yup, standard crush stuff. 

4:07 p.m. Al:

And I try to play it cool and not get flustered,

but I get anxiety over everything I say to him. 

4:07 p.m. Maria:

Oooh, that’s slightly worse. 

Continue.

4:09 p.m. Al:

I get jealous every time I see him talking to 

a guy I don’t know, and I want to punch the

guy even though I know he probably 

doesn’t deserve to be randomly punched

by an angry, short dude with a ponytail. . . 

4:10 p.m. Maria:

Yeeeeaaah that’s not healthy

4:10 p.m. Al:

I knoooooooooooooooooow.

4:12 p.m. Maria:

Just ask him out already,

dude. I know you told Peggy

you’re a wimp, but we’re all getting

sick of this stupid sexual tension you

two insist on having every fucking day.

4:12 p.m. Al:

I knoooooooooooooooow.

4:13 p.m. Maria:

You are too far gone, Alexander. 

4:13 p.m. Al:

I knooooooooooooooooow.

4:13 p.m. Maria:

You  _ both _ are, it’s such a mess. 

4:14 p.m. Al:

I knoooooooooooooooow.

4:15 p.m. Maria:

Honestly at this point the best

course of action would be to 

somehow find an excuse to

lock you two in a closet

together until you start

making out. 

4:15 p.m. Al:

I’d be down for that. I think a party would have to

be involved for it to work. 

4:15 p.m. Maria:

omg omg omg that is the best idea

I have to text Peggy now byeeeeeeee

4:16 p.m. Al:

Okay. . . Bye.

________

Maria’s phone

_______

Peggy<333

4:17 p.m. Maria<333:

Babe I have the best idea ever 

for getting J and A.H. together!!!

4:18 p.m. Peggy<333:

omg do tell

4:18 p.m. Maria<333:

It involves a party

4:18 p.m. Peggy<333:

count me in, im sure liza & angie 

will b happy 2 help 2

4:19 p.m. Maria<333:

What do you think, Seven Minutes in Heaven

or Truth or Dare?

4:19 p.m. Peggy<333:

ohhhhhhhh good question

_________ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> espontáneamente sugirió salir = spontaneously suggested going out
> 
> Sí, lo que debería significar que está pagando por todos, pero… = Yes, which should mean she's paying for everyone, but... 
> 
> Eh, has roto esa regla un par de veces, Alexander. = Hey, you've broken that rule a couple of times, Alexander. 
> 
> Es verdad. = That's true.
> 
> My only translator is Google Translate, so I apologize. 
> 
> And hey! Tell me what you think: Truth or Dare, or Seven Minutes in Heaven?


End file.
